…Everyone does this occasionally, and you shouldn’t feel too upset about it unless it happens quite often, such as three times a day, in which case you must simply get used to it. Remember, other people like you as well or better for it, because it makes them feel so superior; so you’ve spread a little sunshine. And at the very least, you’ve served as a bad example.
― Peg Bracken, The I Hate to Housekeep Book
I have a confession.
And I’m about to tell literally anybody.
(Ugh. Why do I love telling stories?)
So, this is it:
I have zero sense of humour.
Well, no sense of humour towards anything that has to do with me.
Don’t go there.
Just so you know, I love jokes, and there is nobody I’ve ever come across that knows me really well who wouldn’t include “funny” as one of my first three qualities if you ask them to tell you who Ima is.
Just do not attempt to turn it around on me.
Don’t try playing with me about my pimples, my skin burn (I’ve had one for months now close to one of my eyes that’s finally clearing up slowly),my somewhat hairy nature, or any of my insecurities.
Don’t joke about my hobbies, my taste, my preferences.
Do not make fun about me.
Do not make fun over me.
Do not let me even suspect you’re attempting that.
Whether you’re kidding or whether you’re not, 99.9% of the time, I’m not laughing.
I’m not smiling.
It:s not funny.
This would be my upset face as I keep all the anger in, and you will see your wrong in it.
One of the main reasons I have a personal Instagram account is to follow the funniest accounts.
As long as I’m not part of their memes.
I know. I sound weird.
It’s something I battled with for so long, and it definitely was not an easy one.
And has everything changed?
For the last question, nope, everything hasn’t changed. I don’t bother about my physical appearance so much anymore but I might get offended if a really close friend joked about something serious, but that’s about it.
But what brought about this change?
I got to a point in my life that I sat back and realized how I was practically living my life, waiting to be offended.
I picked offenses in the little things and held onto it for so long.
I was holding myself back. I was beating myself up.
And it was turning into a serious problem for me.
I started to notice a lot of signs that this wasn’t a problem I could ignore forever and here are five major ones that could be showing you that you just might need to get yourself in more uncomfortable situations and be okay with it:
1. You pick your words a little too carefully
Am I the only one that does that little dance with the thumb when you’re trying to think of a way to put your words that won’t be too harsh/too much/too confusing when texting?
I do that dance a lot.
Same with real life.
I think too hard about what to say, rather than saying it.
What if it sounds dumb when I hear it?
What if I’m totally wrong and I talk with so much confidence now — that would only make it more embarrassing!
I’m not a believer in hoarding my feelings anymore, I’m not sure why.
If I’m upset, if I’m confused, if I’m paranoid, if I have something to say, I’d have a really hard time not telling you.
I don’t care if I mistook you and I’ve choosen to stop caring that I really hate arguments.
Talk already. Say something out of point. Talk.
Don’t think over it too much. Feel those feelings and let them out.
Stop stuttering. Stop repeating your lines. Talk.
2. Your daily routine has turned boring.
I remember when the idea popped into my head to start a blog.
Shy, self-conscious, timid, private, me?
What would people say? What would my friends think of me? Everybody already owns a blog, people would just think I’m copying.
Or I’m trying to make money off them.
Somehow, I took that step.
Yes, some people didn’t understand what I was doing, I actually texted a cousin of mine that I now blog and got a “lol” the first time.
I was so scared to tell more people.
People did tell me “so you want to blog too?”
Somehow, I kept taking that step.
Guys, normal’s boring.
Get out of your comfort zone and add color to your life.
3. You’re a perfectionist, and so everything is a “big deal”.
Everything is “pretty serious.”
From something as minute as never taking a casual selfie from a new angle or from this:
Because like whaat?
Do you know how big heads would come out?
Or never being able to dance in public — everyone would be looking!
You never try to go down that career line, it’s for the pretty ones only. That other one is less risky.
Try out something and it’s not working? Pull out and pretend it doesn’t exist.
Take up a task and have it all fall apart? Never forgive yourself.
Be a President’s wife, be a pauper’s uneducated child, tongues would wag, mouths will laugh — you’re going to need to stop caring.
4. You’re always sorry.
I used to apologize a lot.
I’m wrong? I’m soorrryyy.
You’re wrong? I’m sorry. Can we get this over with and move on now?
“Your hair looks all over the place, why?”
“Oh wow, I’m so sorry, I don’t know why, is it that bad? Can I used your cap?”
“Your pimples are back?”
“Is it that obvious? Ugh, I dunno why, I just hate it, what do you think I should do..”
Stop. Yes, stop.
This used to be me. Does this sound like you?
One day, I just had to tell myself to stop.
Embrace that. Know that. Love that. Accept that. It’s never going to change.
5. Every embarrassment literally almost feels like death.
You could crawl up in a hole and stay there for the rest of your life if you could.
You won’t stop replaying the events over and over and over.
You start to think of all the things you could have done differently.
Do something embarrassing again though — and it starts to feel less painful.
Take another risk again, and you get bolder to take one more.
I’d tell you: every once in a while, things would go out of hand, and you would end up looking stupid, either to yourself or someone.
We’re humans, and that’s how we’d always be.
Don’t let anyone say otherwise.
And so how do you start to work on this?
Two simple words to start from:
Deep breath, and relax.
Say what needs to be said, do what needs to be done, express yourself.
In every area.
In every way, at all times, most especially when you don’t feel like it.
Talk. Object. Interrupt. Refuse. Demand. Louder. Dance. Sing. Model. Pout. Stand tall. Shake it off.
Do you. Unapologetically.
Did I make any sense to you?
Have you been here too or am I the only one?
Let’s talk through the comments section.
And if you liked this, please do me the huge favour of sharing with anyone you think needs this too.
(And a mega huge thank you to my amazing friends who let me use their photos here, from my awesome buddy who takes the craziest photos all with his not-an-iPhone Andriod, OC, my best friend Doris, who I used twice, and my sweetheart Tara, in the last picture — thank you for the permission to use your photos!
All rights reserved.
Happy weekend, loves.
Go crazy, the good kind — or not!
Deliciously Yours To Savour,
Ima | Loveasuquo.com.