“I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it—I will love you through that, as well. If you don’t need the medication, I will love you, too. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.”�
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
Liz Gilbert’s words give me life every time.
Hey there, love!
Okay, so I didn’t really go anywhere. But I didn’t post a new article on Friday, and so a couple of people assumed I was starting to give up on my baby.
See, I started to realize I was mounting too much pressure on myself.
Dropping a new post twice a week, with the right graphics, each about 1300 words on average, and needing to find enough time to promote and optimize and so much more.
I was stressing.
And this is blogging — you can always find your own path that works!
So I’m cutting it down to once a week and then five, six days to share it around as I like, and still have time to handle school issues and every other thing on the side.
So. Back to the matter.
Chronic loneliness (yeah, it’s a thing) is regarded as a modern day epidemic.
According to an article I stumbled upon over the weekend, we are supposedly more connected than ever but one in ten people feel lonely often and 48 per cent of people think they’re getting lonelier in general.�
If you’re suffering from chronic loneliness, you should probably talk to the right people.
Medical practitioners, if you think you need to.
A cousin of mine had a similar experience that got really really ugly.
But today, I’m sharing 16 important reminders for anyone who’s sinking into it with everyday that passes by — here we go:
1. Sometimes, it’s not always that you have no one around.
It could also be: Are you intentionally pulling away and isolating yourself?
This could be a really good thing however, especially if you do not exactly feel wanted with them or they do things that grow an unhealthy mindset in your head.
But you need to figure out the why.
2. There are so many amazing people you haven’t even met willing to be amazing to you. Find some today.
If you even think you need new set of company, find them.
Lately I’ve been on this.
Not because I want to change all the people I’m surrounded by — I love a handful of them.
But I’m trying to find new people that I vibe with.
Trust me, any time you do, it’s super refreshing.
3. Sometimes, loneliness springs up from other sources we aren’t paying attention to.
Sometimes it’s guilt, sometimes it’s insecurities, sometimes from the very much loved social media, sometimes it’s lack of attention even from the home front, sometimes it’s stress.
This is something only you can sincerely answer — what kick-starts this loneliness and why?
4. You learn through loneliness that not everyone takes away the loneliness because they’re around.
Some people make it more obvious.
Some people worsen it all.
I’ve been there. I know.
5. Just because you do not want to be lonely doesn’t mean you still cannot be selective.
Because it hurts a zillion times more.
When you’re surrounded by the ones looking to take advantage of your vulnerabilities.
Be selective. Filter. Choose to have some taste. Always.
6. A couple of people may find your present condition so absurd it turns comical.
Welcome to the human race.
I actually told someone I was working on this article Friday afternoon and he actually went “Lool.”
It’s unfortunately people like this who do not see that depression and chronic loneliness is a leading cause of suicide and no, these people aren’t playing around.
They’re not just looking for attention.
They honestly need help.
7. A couple of people may start to stay away from you.
Most especially if it’s written over you.
Desperation isn’t something you can control at this point, but it’s not the most attractive thing.
Some of the ones you expect to be there, just won’t.
But don’t take it too personal, sometimes they’re just not sure where to start from.
And most importantly, you are the first helper you need to pull yourself out.
You. Remember that.
8. Everyone isn’t going to leave.
And that’s the good part.
Some people know how to love your pretty and not so pretty parts.
They’re pretty special that way.
You just have to let them in, and you just have to actually want all of that love and care and support.
Which leads to the next pointer;
9. Loneliness doesn’t go away on it’s own.
You need to want your joy and your happiness and your life and living back.
That’s where it all starts.
Are you willing to stop feeling sorry for yourself and want better?
10. There’s no need to hoard up bitterness in your heart during those lonely days.
Too many lonely people are bitter.
Angry with the world and eveyone would isn’t in their shoes and cannot possibly understand it.
(Oh darling, everyone isn’t acting, some of us are still moved when we see someone else hurting)
Plus all that venom? Doesn’t change anything.
Do not let this world make you that hard.
“Why do people have to be this lonely? What’s the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?”
― Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart
11. Sometimes our own insecurities are the problem.
What do I mean?
I mean sometimes people aren’t ignoring you, sometimes they’re busy.
Sometimes they can’t tell you need attention till you actually say it.
Suck up your pride, put aside your timidity.
Most people don’t read minds.
12. Find something you genuinely love and get lost in it.
It goes a long way.
Lose yourself in it.
True satisfaction is derived from how much you give out, not getting.
13. Science says loneliness can actually affect your immune system, make you feel like your entire body is under attack, increase your chances of cardio vascular diseases and give you a cold.
14. No matter what you think, now is NOT the time to find just one person to shove all your love and time and affection and energy does their throat.
It’s the most dangerous thing you can do.
Don’t hog anyone like that.
15. If you can become your own friend, your loneliness dramatically drops.
Understand yourself. Know your strengths and work on your weakness.
Find peace in solitude.
And someday, you’d finally be able to say to yourself:
“When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person’s body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.”�
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
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Happy Monday, sending plenty of love to everyone this season!
Deliciously Yours To Savour,
Ima | Loveasuquo.com