“It’s interesting, isn’t it, to watch this character attempting to reconstruct herself, quite literally, in the midst of this chaos?”
Liz Kay, Monsters: A Love Story
Why hey there, guess whose vacation is finally over?
Okay, so no.
I was not on vacation from my blog. (Vacations are planned and super fun, yeah?
Plus you give your people the big news before running off.)
I did none of that.
And I’m honestly sorry. I truly am.
The last few months have been life changing and pretty nerve-racking but I refuse to hide behing all of this without personally taking some of the blame.
Too much time has flown by so first, welcome back to my blog if this isn’t your first time — thank you for showing up here again.
I wasn’t sure what to do when I finally came back on here at first, but I put together a little something.
My last article, a fictional series which I’d most definitely continue went live January 6th and nothing has come up since then.
I honestly did a lot of worrying as to how I was going to make a comeback, after more than three months.
It was far from intentional, but still, I was pretty much disturbed.
For one, I fell seriously ill late December (a terrible case of ulcer that’s still healing) which carried over into the new year, so I was far from the healthiest.
And then college started in January and so I’ve been away from home and my super fast Wi-Fi, but most importantly, my tablet got damaged and wiped.
I lost everything. Literally.
From my articles down to my favorite pictures, even to the point where I spent weeks trying to gain access to my blog and my email addresses as it was all stored on my device.
It was all quite messy.
Thankfully, my health is much under control than it was eight weeks back, I’ve got a better plan for accessing the internet even when I go back to school, and I was finally able to gain access to my blog and email addresses a while back. (yay!)
The ugliest parts are over.
And from all of this, I’ve come to a couple of conclusions that I just had to share here:
1. I will never stop writing.
So for anyone who got worried, this is out here now. It is not going to happen.
I couldn’t even if I wanted to, and nothing could ever change that.
Even while I was away from my little corner on the Internet, I got busy doing offline writing. A lot.
Between working on a script for a friend of mine and content ideas for a new client, it’s been splendid.
There were days I wasn’t feeling myself however, days I didn’t want to do anything else than sulk and worry and miss my blog and feel pity for myself but then something else hit me hard during one of those silly days, which leads me to my next;
2. If you drop it, it starts to decay.
They tell you talents and passions are natural endowments, but they still require a lot of nurturing.
When all of this just began, I got so sucked into all the stress I didn’t write anything for weeks.
And after a while, I lost the zeal to write.
I just didn’t feel like it. It was starting to look like too much work.
What’s the point anyway?
I think I’m having writer’s block today.
And wait, was I still doing this for free?
I’d start later, maybe next week.
So much started to get muddled up in my head.
Don’t think you can’t kill your passion with your own hands, you can.
Every day you decide to sell yourself short because laziness or because procrastination or because doubt or because fear, you let that talent decay a tiny bit more.
And that itself was a huge disservice as far as I was concerned.
3. People need you here.
And I think this was the most beautiful conclusion.
For months, I had people checking up on me, asking what happened, wanting to know when I’d be back, what they could do to help, (someone even offered to make a financial donation — thank you!)
And then I knew, if you’re giving value, people know. And people see. And people will wait for more.
Every single one of us, as long as we’ve picked up a role in someone else’s life, have automatically left footprints on them.
It’s just wrong to think of it otherwise.
So if you’re impacting, in anyway at all, you are too important already to your world. Don’t ever forget that.
Thank you to everyone who didn’t give up on this girl. ?
4. The messy days are days for cleansing.
The days everything crash and burn, take a deep breathe, and know you have to fix things.
Those are the days for sorting through every single rubble.
For dealing with excess trash that you wouldn’t have seen if things didn’t go awol.
Appreciate those days.
They’re the hardest but they bring out the tough in us and force us to do better.
Just like Mitch Albom said:
“This is life. Things get taken away. You will learn to start over many times — or you will be useless.”
(The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto)
5. Your excuses need to start making less sense to you if you’re ever going to do anything tangible with yourself.
For those weeks, I was constantly telling myself, “you have a good reason to be away, there’s nothing you can do, too much is going on right now.”
Lies. Lies. Lies.
That’s something we tell ourselves when we’re too comfortable in our comfort zones.
You have no excuse, remind yourself of this every time you’re about to cover up for yourself.
The ones who win in life don’t wait for life to favour them or for things to get better, they go and they win.
Mediocracy would never take you anywhere special.
And what good is it if all of this was to settle with the ordinary at the end of the day?
No. Heavens forbid.
Deliciously Yours To Savour,