“I ended up dropping out of high school.
I’m a high school dropout, which I’m not proud to say. I had some teachers that I still think of fondly and were amazing to me. But I had other teachers who said, ‘You know what? This dream of yours is a hobby. When are you going to give it up?’ I had teachers who I could tell didn’t want to be there. And I just couldn’t get inspired by someone who didn’t want to be there.”
― Hilary Swank
I don’t give up too often.
It’s a good thing. And it’s a horrible thing.
I give too much into working on what I choose to work on.
For me, it’s everything or nothing.
But when I do (and finally) say my goodbyes, I don’t carry one speck of dust out of that dirt.
And I never go back.
So that part’s good.
Often times, you hear the saying, “Giving up is not an option.”
Well sometimes, it’s the only option. We just don’t like admitting it.
So, how do you decide when it’s time to drop it?
How do you make sure it really is time and you’re not walking away too soon and making a gigantic mistake you’d end up regretting?
Whether it’s a job, a relationship of any sort or something you’re working on, here are twelve signs we most often underplay:
1. You’re unconsciously searching for a reason to get out of there.
This, for me, is the biggest.
As soon as I see this, I just know.
I just find myself searching for a loophole: something, anything for me to hold accountable, and then I run off.
Just something to justify my actions.
Sometimes, we like to misinterpret this as laziness or weakness or cowardice.
But sometimes it’s not.
It’s you. It’s your inner sub-consciousness.
And most times, you won’t find that reason to give up too easily, simply because you really don’t want to.
2. Everyone is seeing it except you.
We usually see it last, now don’t we?
(And when I say everybody, you know it’s really everybody — and you start to wonder if they had some coven meeting and are here to make things more complicated for you.)
People usually see these things before us.
You know those times you don’t remember you just got a new air freshener until the best friend comes around and says something smells different and for some seconds you can’t grasp what they’re talking about?
Well, same applies here.
Only it takes a lot of us more than seconds to see their point is valid.
3. That one thing determines everything else for you.
Your entire mood, how you’re feeling, your emotional stability,your enthusiastic energy or your “I just want to stay in bed for a year”, your #Litday or your “can it be Christmas already”, revolves around that one thing.
One quick advice out of personal experiences:
If there is one thing/human in your life that your entire self literally depends on to determine how you’re seeing life at that moment: Change that, RIGHT NOW! Quick!
4. The harder you push, the harsher you’re thrown back to the ground.
It’s like the more effort you put in to making things work, the worse it turns out.
That’s because sometimes it’s not about trying too hard, it’s stopping to see why less or more really doesn’t change anything.
It’s not you that’s the problem, and so it’s not going to be what you do or do not do that’ll change everything.
5. You readily bear all of the crosses.
Yours (a bit too eagerly),and the ones that aren’t yours (simple because you just have to, your head tells you.)
As long as it takes down the tension in the air, you’re willing to bear the responsibility.
You’re willing to take the blame.
You’re willing to make all the sacrifices.
Every single time.
Stop breaking your back for all the wrong reasons.
6. Even the good things aren’t enjoyable anymore.
On the days that everything isn’t “super suckish”, it’s still hard to fully relax.
You’re still sitting at the edge, because you just know it won’t last and something is just waiting to mess it all up.
And that’s so torturing to deal with continuously.
7. When you fear this is the best it can possibly be. And so you settle for it.
If you’re at this point, the other reasons why you need to give up have probably been making a lot of noise above your head but you’ve somehow managed to ignore them.
Now you’re thinking, “Well, no relationship is perfect” and “Everybody is simply working to survive. I’m not the only one who’s managing.”
No, sweetie. No, you’re not.
But alot of people have quit relationships that only tore them down and have opted for healing in healthier ones and a lot more have walked out on jobs that were slowly destroying them and never looked back.
It’s one of those traits of successful and fulfilled people.
You think they all had backup plans and really tough guts when doing that?
Not all, trust me.
They just recognized the urgency.
8. When you’re desperately holding onto memories than the moment.
What used to be.
The good ol’ days when everything was better.
When it wasn’t so rigid and difficult.
At least you got them. Right?
But you don’t. They’re not here anymore.
If your past looks better than your present, if you’re happier asleep than awake, you’re wrong.
9. Fear of the unknown.
“What if things change next week but I leave today and never find out?”
“What if I don’t get anything better?”
“What if me leaving doesn’t change anything?”
Sometimes, we just need to focus on the now, and leave tomorrow to handle itself.
What do you need to do right now?
Do that first.
10. You’re being drained — constantly.
And it’s showing.
In every single aspect of your life, it’s penetrating through.
You’re tired. You’re worked out. You’re uninspired.
You want to be lonely.
You want someone to notice.
You wish everything would just go away.
You wish they would care like they should.
It’s all muddled up,and you can’t help it.
11. When your opinions don’t matter much anymore.
And not just out loud, but in your head too.
You tell yourself to quit whining and to deal with it even when you don’t necessarily have to.
No matter what they say:
You aren’t making a big deal out of this and your feelings do matter every single time.
Don’t silence your own voice. For anyone and anything.
12. When you’re compromising and changing.
We all have certain values we hold dear to our hearts.
And once you find yourself having to let go of a couple and bend some more, you need to run.
You need to drop it and run.
Nothing that’s meant for you would cause you to force yourself into a tight uncomfortable box.
Instead it expands you to do much more.
Now, this article isn’t to encourage you to give up when faced with just any challenge — but a roadblock is different from when the road’s closed, and we need to start recognizing that.
Most times, giving up is painted as a terrible thing.
“You’ve been doing this for 10 years. Now you THINK you have to quit because you don’t feel happy?”
“How can you walk away from that relationship? Everybody already knows about you both!”
And then we convince ourselves that “maybe it’s not that bad, maybe I’m over exaggerating, maybe I just need to be more patient.”
You own you.
And so anything in your life holding you down and distorting your potential needs to go.
You don’t need to understand it all fully, you don’t need to give yourself or anyone else a concrete explanation.
Sometimes there is none.
Like someone said:
“If it don’t make you happy, leave it alone.
If I don’t make you happy, leave me alone.”
Life is really that simple.
Oh, it is. I promise.
Did this sound logical? Make much sense?
Please let me know your thoughts through the comments section.
And one quick request; if this was helpful, I’d appreciate it if you could share with anyone who needs to see this as well.
Here’s to the weekend: May it be as toxic free and love filled as possible!