Ah, the “baby fever” era.
I’m locked in, and the keys have been flung into the water mass underneath the Lekki-Ikoyi Link Bridge, never to be seen again.
All I want to do is replay every cute video and spend ample time staring at pictures I stumble across. And when I close my phone apps, I get back to wondering when my friends plan to give me offspring from their loins (make me an aunty already, would you?) so I can babysit for free and hold an adorable, cute-as-a-button little human for hours, obsessing over them.
I have a baby sister — who’s not a baby anymore tbh. She’s turning 17 this year.
But I remember her being a baby. There are quite some years between us, so I used to carry her, play silly games with her, then watch my mom feed her, change her diapers, rock her to sleep, cajole her to eat and care for her in every single way.
I saw it pretty early: “Mummying” is a lot of work. It really is. Way more than the cute Instagram posts and matching outfits.
And I think you can tie this logic to the apron strings of marriage, too.
I’ve let it fully sink in that for every wonderful experience someone else is having that I’m drawn to, there’s a ton of work going on in the background that I may NEVER see.
(Not every time Kumbaya)
It’s truly a privilege that right now, I can live voraciously through the lives of these people because I don’t have to do the work they’re doing, and I can pick and choose the experiences that I want.
Apostle Paul didn’t stutter when he said:
“Now, concerning what you wrote about unmarried people: I do not have a command from the Lord, but I give my opinion as one who by the Lord’s mercy is worthy of trust. Considering the present distress, I think it is better for a man to stay as he is.” — 1 Corinthians 7:25-26 GNT
Because news-flash: There will be distress.
In marriage and with babies, you will serve, you will sacrifice, you will compromise, you will work, putting your back and waist into it.
(Literally and figuratively.)
I can ‘return’ my friend’s baby when she/he starts to wail a bit too loudly, and I’m out of tricks. When I have mine, who will I be returning them to? I don’t plan to stress their grandparents that much.
Children, in their full capacity, aren’t social media viral posts that you can “Like” and then scroll past. A marriage isn’t like that lunch date you can go home from and forget about.
These things will require commitment from the first day.
So, why should anyone not take full advantage of their commitment-free lives right now? Who in their right frame of mind gets PTO and spends the entire time fretting about not having to work?
There’s a tendency to assume you’re missing out on something when everyone you know is getting married and having babies. Don’t get me wrong; these are great things, and it’s perfectly normal to desire them. At least I do.
But there’s something to envy both ways — the married woman with kids side by side with the single woman without.
The grass is greener on both ends; simply learn how to garden well.
So — if, like me, you’re on this side of the spectrum, with no ring on your finger and more freedom than you’d ever have again in your life, I want to implore you — enjoy the freedom this season is offering.
Take full advantage of it. Run away on trips. Serve wholly. Go on dates. Enjoy platonic friends. Sleep in (everyone has told me that I can’t say “I’m not a morning person” when I have kids, so I’m fully indulging now) long. Bask in the whole experience.
Because one day, you will fall in love, they will love you back, and boom — two will become one. Then the tables will turn in your favour as you prayed for every night, you’d (finally) take a seat, and—oh, hold up—now you’ll be expected to serve and be served.
The thrill and the task will come together like inseparable newlyweds.
Till then? Don’t let anybody “tension” you. You’re not live wire.
(Pun intended.)
